“Comics” of depression

//A somber posting today, void of cuteness and my typical happy demeanour. This is something I feel very strongly about and believe it’s extremely important. Thanks for bearing with me.//

I felt that this post on Buzzfeed was imperative to share with anyone who may be reading. As I’m sure I’ve said before I suffer from severe depression that borders on Bi-Polar II disorder. For years I’ve had people tell me that I’m just sad and to get over it. This is the first time that I’ve truly not felt alone in my suffering. To know that respected artists out there are trying to raise awareness for this debilitating disease means the world to me.

While I’m lucky that for the most part my medications keep me stable. I still have ups and downs, but they are less extreme and more like what I’d imagine “normal” to be like. Though there are still days where I don’t see the light I have a permanent reminder of just how strong I can really be: my tattoo. I have a single tattoo that is a symbolization of my strength and of those who helped me when things looked as though they would never get better. I have it in a spot special only to me, where only I can see it and be reminded every day that it does get better.

What my readers may not know is that I’m dealing with an extreme amount of grief right now that’s related to someone else’s depression. In May my first love took his life. I’m not coping with it well at all. I have an appointment with the school counsellors to start working through this. His death, while I hadn’t talked to him in 5 years, has hit me hard for many reasons. One (of many) of which is it’s forcing me to remember my own depression-related path and of when I seriously considered taking my own life.

But I digress…

What I really want to do is post this link so that if you don’t suffer from depression you might start to understand it better when your best friend or family member just can’t get up in the morning or your co-worker misses work when they’re perfectly “healthy”. Share this as much as you can and maybe one day the working  and social world will begin to not frown so heavily on someone who is “just sad”. Each of these “comics” ring true for me. I found myself crying by the end of reading them because they were all soul bearing comics.

Just remember, if you suffer from depression know that you are not alone. I hate it when people say that because so often just knowing that more people go through what you experience isn’t enough. There are somedays that get so bad that sheer sympathetic understanding isn’t enough. But maybe, just maybe, the more people that are out there that really understand what you’re suffering will begin a revolution that brings change in the stigma that is depression and we can embrace one another with open arms no matter what the situation. As the posts finishes:

Because we all need more hugs. ❤

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Wedding cakes and wedding bliss

This summer seems to be the summer filled with weddings for me. I guess it’s getting to the point where all of my friends are getting married. There were two last year and two this year. Considering I’d never been to a wedding before I was the maid-of-honour at one of my best friend’s the January before this last one – this is a very big deal. I’m pretty sure I only have a handful of friends that aren’t married or getting married. I’m the last of a dieing breed.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am so happy for my friends I could squeal. In fact, I have.
I find myself, once again, a maid-of-honour. I’m so grateful for her choosing me. Last time, though, my duties were virtually non-existent due to the fact that she had a destination wedding to keep her insane family away. When I mean insane – I meant it. One of her family members showed up to the last family reunion with a shot gun and there was a police stand off. Another believes in Dolphin Jesus – she believed that Jesus was reincarnated as a dolphin and literally worshiped all dolphin statues. That’s just the tip of that iceberg. But back to my original line of thought [SQUIRREL!].
I have absolutely no clue what a maid-of-honour does. From what I’ve read I support my bride and help her along the way. Vague enough for you? Is for me too. None-the-less I’m trying to do everything I can to help – but we live 1,600 km away! That and I’m traveling this year so putting together a bachelorette party isn’t all that easy. I really feel like I’m shirking my responsibilities. Luckily she’s very laid back about her wedding. She really wants it to be low key. Thankfully she doesn’t see it that way.

So – on to my second trouble. I promised her, oh, 10 years back that I would do her wedding cake. I’m sticking to it. Of course with the whole laid back attitude comes the “do whatever you want” clause. I’m trying to stick to a beach/ocean theme. She’s getting married on a beach at the end of August. I am having so much trouble putting this together! I have inspiration for it but every time I try to sketch it out it looks like crap. So I start looking for different inspiration. I am an artist in the respect of copying. Show me a photo of something and odds are great that I can duplicate it. One cake that I showed her, she loved. Great! Only when you google that specific cake a million and one of them come up. I know what I create won’t be perfectly unique. (I subscribe to the idea that it’s all been done before we just keep improving it.) But I’d like it to be at least special. Which means “improving” that design. Changing it just a little bit so that’s it’s all hers.

I think my best bet is to just zen it out. Stop stressing about it all… maybe then it will come to me.